Between Worlds

by Kendyll Hillegas

“Light as a physical presence — the way it passes through skin, pours through windows, coats strands of hair — was something I remember being fascinated by as a child. Then and now, these images evoke a sense of longing, an almost painful desire for eternity, paired with a knowledge that the object of my attention is temporary. As a mother, I cannot help but see the parallels between this lifelong visual obsession and the experience of bringing a child into the world. There's a feeling of intense connection juxtaposed with clear differentiation, of interminable ordinariness right alongside aching temporality. A quiet witnessing of their expanding universe, even as they still need me to wash their hair. Both of these experiences demand the same thing: to stand inside the collision of permanence and impermanence, and to not look away.”